Guys view: the passion & intimacy in the bedroom makes every other area of the marriage so much nicer! Girls view: the passion & intimacy in every other area makes the bedroom so much nicer!
Let’s clarify some things here. Wives desire intimacy in the areas of intellect, emotion, and spirituality. These are the areas by which you came to know each other. Over time, they deepened to the point of deciding to be married. They were, and always will be, the sure foundation to an enduring marriage.
So what about these three key components – “talk”, “feel”, “pray”? Few couples share an across the board “topical affinity” when it comes to areas of interest, the things you talk about when together. For example, your wife might want to share with you a home project she discovered on Pinterest. With all the pertinent details, this could take twenty minutes of your time. Your mind might go on “tilt” but all things are possible; you can engage your mind, connect the dots, and bingo! Guess what? Be consistent here and you’ll be building intimacy.
On the flip side, when I shared with my wife how I fixed the stop lamp switch on my car’s brake pedal, it wasn’t exactly riveting and captivating conversation. However, she truly listened to my tale, and that meant something to me. (Especially since I’m not a mechanic; big feat for me to accomplish this.) This is definitely a two-way street, unless you’re a completely sealed off dude! Believe me – more dots than you know, connect to the bedroom!
Let’s move from intellect to emotion. “Hon, I just need to tell you how I’m feeling. I don’t need a solution, just a listening ear.” My natural inclination is to find a fix to her issue, as if I was diagramming a sentence; once all the words are in the right place, we’re done. Not so simple. It’s really all about the process. Bonding takes time. The colors of the heart’s palette must be carefully combined as they are expressed.
Anne has always told me that she appreciates my telling her how I feel about life, along with my being a good listener. I mean, if we’re going to be best friends until we die, why not? Plus, even though most guys are more linear and all about logic, we do have the DNA to be relational and intuitive, like our wives. It takes a bit longer to mine this gold, but it’s there! Don’t give up girls.
Guys: stop and listen to what she’s thinking and feeling. Tell her, what you’re thinking and feeling. Touch her soul before you touch her body.
Praying together is the obvious path to spiritual intimacy. Every Christian couple has encountered this hurdle. The enemy knows the danger to his kingdom that a praying husband and wife can exert. He learned early on that a successful strategy is to slither between them, attack them individually, and above all, keep them from oneness in prayer. Note: prayer flows much better when the intellectual and emotional bridges have been built. Actually, all areas of intimacy draw from one another for mutual support. Conversation, of both mind and heart, readies a couple for heavenward connection.
When you walk in the front door of a house, you never enter the bedroom first. Generally it’s a hallway, then perhaps a kitchen or family room. You make your way to the bedroom by going through other rooms first.
A marriage with well-rounded, balanced intimacy will go the distance + increase passion in the bedroom!!