Single or Married?

by Mike

I recently heard these words in my spirit and feel that it was a divine inspiration: “Don’t use marriage to run from singleness; don’t use singleness to run from marriage.”

In the former, marriage might be seen as a cure for loneliness, or wanting to be successful in the eyes of others, or the pursuit of marriage could be partially motivated by the fear of becoming ineligible due to age. In the latter, being single might have the appeal of being more spiritual and sacrificial, or perhaps be based on a fear of intimacy, or maybe a convenient way to keep from dealing with deep issues in the heart.

There’s a theory that goes something like this: “If you want to DO more for Jesus, stay single; if you want to BE more like Jesus, get married.”

Debatable from both sides no doubt, but after three decades of partnering with my beloved, I believe this is true. I can run from myself pretty well but I can’t run from the one I live with. Of course what I mean by that is that I can’t run from my heart issues that are revealed in the mirror of living in a one flesh union!

A great summary statement is this quote from author John Piper: “Marriage has its unique potential for magnifying Christ that singleness does not have. Singleness has its unique potential for magnifying Christ that marriage does not have.”

In the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 19, Jesus is discussing marriage and says to his disciples: “Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made that way by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone who can, accept this statement.” In Isaiah 56 a blessing is promised to the unmarried: “For I say to the eunuchs who keep my Sabbath days holy, who choose to do what pleases me and commit their lives to me. I will give them – in my house, within my walls – a memorial and a name far greater than the honor they would have received by having sons and daughters.”

Being single in the kingdom is NOT being left without a blessing or an inheritance; it can even bestow a greater honor.

Hopefully, all single persons are thankful for the institution of marriage. Without it, your chances of being conceived would have been slim to none!

God ordained marriage for the purpose of having children; not the only purpose, but an important one. In Isaiah 53:10 we read: “But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and fill him with grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have a multitude of children, many heirs.” Through his atoning death on the cross Jesus has produced a spiritual lineage; a family not formed through physical procreation. We call it being “born again.”

In this regard, many single people have fathered and mothered children in the faith. I was blessed for six years as a Christian single and for the past thirty years as a married Christian. Let us embrace the unique potential of whatever state we’re in and magnify the Lord together.

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