Three Steps to a Prayerful Marriage

The first and foremost way to have a prayerful marriage, is to keep your individual lives full of consistent encounter with God. Guys: be a praying husband. Gals: be a praying wife. The result: your marriage will be prayerful. It’s virtually impossible for a married couple to grow stagnant in their relationship when each spouse is having fresh encounters with God. The joy of discovery becomes a source of strength to the marital bond. The more I personally discover the treasure I have in Christ the more I possess to invest in my marriage.

When I’m seeing God rightly, perceiving his glory, every facet of my marriage is enhanced. Click To Tweet

In our book, Longing for Eden: Embracing God’s Vision in Your Marriage, I said it thusly: “When I’m filled to overflowing, my marriage gets the spillover. The more beautiful God looks to me, the more beautiful my wife looks to me.” A useful metaphor for me is that of a contact lens; once inserted, your vision is transformed. When I’m seeing God rightly, perceiving his glory, every facet of my marriage is enhanced.

The second path to a prayerful marriage is to stay connected with your spouse.

Marriage is a holistic relationship. You can’t get more comprehensive or integrated than a “one-flesh union.” Yet tragically, many couples fail to be intentional over the years to maintain a connection in the various lifelines of their marriage. Consider this quote from Vertical Marriage.

“We have observed that married couples, who seemed to have unending conversations while dating, oftentimes reach a place where they must be intentional in choosing to communicate. Life has transitioned, schedules are busy, and we just don’t talk like we used to. This is normal but must not be left unattended. Husbands and wives need to keep the lines open, from everyday surface topics to the deeply felt matters of the heart.”

Being consistent in connecting makes for an easy pivot into prayer. Best friends are the best candidates to be prayer partners.

My third suggestion for couples is this: pray together in a way that is uniquely you. I know of couples that pray together for a few minutes before bed each night – heavenly pillow talk! This would not be the most productive for some of us that are fast-tracking into sleep mode once we hit the sheets. But again, do what works for you.

Other options I’ve heard of: prayer-walk together (exercise + prayer), read through a devotional (daily or weekly), pray spontaneously as you feel the need (while driving together for example). However you approach your desire for a prayerful marriage, I would suggest starting with small goals, reachable ones, to build momentum. Planning too big (praying together for an hour a day) may lead to discouragement when goals are not met.


Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash