Building Equity in Your Marriage

Building Equity

Building equity in your home is all about taking care of your property, making upgrades when needed, building investment value over time. Ideally, at every stage of the mortgage, it’s not healthy for the loan balance to be higher than the fair market value of the home. As a prime example, recall the Great Recession of 2008, when this occurred on a national level. It’s called being underwater in your mortgage. I experienced it firsthand, having bought my home in 2007; seeing the value drop the next year, even to the point where my taxes went down!


The term stands for No Income, No Job, No Assets. Sounds incredible right? In the years leading up the recession, hedge funds, banks and insurance companies, were assisting home buyers in the fulfillment of their dreams, with little regard for the potential dangers. It was easy to buy a house, just like it’s fairly easy to begin a marriage. When the Federal Reserve raised their rates, those with adjustable mortgages could no longer afford the payments. Meanwhile, home prices decreased in value.

Spiritual Equity

I have counseled many dating couples that desire to invest in a marriage, without having adequate resources to make the payments. Solid premarital preparation is the down payment for starters. Then there is the issue of spiritual maturity, emotional health, and a healthy track record of being a responsible person. Couples married for many years, even decades, may find themselves waking up to realize that they failed to build value over time. Marital issues were left unattended, upgrades never done, and sacrificial investments never made. Here’s a bottom line I’ve discovered: Your spiritual equity, IS your marital equity.

Your spiritual equity, IS your marital equity. Share on X

Accumulating Assets

Every husband and wife begins as a diamond in the rough –  a very carefully chosen one, at that. If you were like me, you were intent to marry a person of integrity whose compass was firmly set on a lifetime of seeking God. The time it took to complete such a rigorous assessment, brought into the light for both of us, that areas of refinement were still underway, in each of our lives. Some marriage seasons have more “diamond” and other seasons more “rough.”  The key is to keep accumulating assets in the relationship, that will enable you to withstand fluctuations, the “ebbs and flows” of life. The term refers to the inward and outward movement of ocean tides, or the pattern of decline and regrowth on a personal level.

Marriage Security

It is an oft quoted Bible verse, “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Cor. 12:10  It was written by an apostle in the early church who experienced heavenly revelations. To keep him humble, God allowed affliction to curb his natural inclination towards conceit. There’s been no modification to this perfectly divine insurance policy that heaven has taken out on humanity. It exists in your life, to protect you from you, and enable you to be a stable influence in your marriage. Weakness and a resultant dependency upon God is the engine that drives spiritual growth.

Weakness and a resultant dependency upon God is the engine that drives spiritual growth. Share on X

A part of God’s refining process is to remove the “props” we depend on – the particular sources relied upon for satisfaction and support. They are not intrinsically evil but not always God’s best either. Money, entertainment, travel, status, luxury, fame, and the list goes on. The problem is that over time, most of these props do not create lasting security in a marriage relationship. To summarize, a husband or wife feels secure when they have a sense that their partner is growing in God. This is the essence of being married for the glory of God. It’s the “nest egg”, the heavenly reward in the golden years of a marriage. So then, your spiritual equity is the primary source for your marital equity.

True godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. 1 Tim. 6:6