The Revelation of Marriage

The Excitement of Revelation


Defined, “revelation” is the act of revealing or disclosing; it is something revealed or disclosed, especially a striking disclosure, as of something not before realized. Here is my ranking of the two greatest revelations in my life. 


My eyes were opened as a twenty-one year old wandering soul, when I received the gospel message and made a commitment to following Christ. Striking disclosure is an apt description of my first time encountering Jesus. The second greatest revelation occurred a few years later when my prayers to find a wife were clearly answered. Married forty-one years now, I can say that we know each other very well but are still growing in that knowledge because we have both been changing along  the way.


The revelation of marriage makes a sustainable excitement available because it’s all about encountering the Spirit of Christ who lives within our individual hearts and thus in the heart of the marriage. Living within you is the Christ who floods you with the expectation of glory! Col. 1:27 (MSG)


Brighter Levels


The greatest facet of revelation from God is that it never ends. The initial unveiling is followed up by a life of discovery. This verse is a wonderful description.


But the moment one turns to the Lord  with an open heart, the veil is lifted and they see. Now, the “Lord” I’m referring to is the Holy Spirit,  and wherever he is Lord, there is freedom. We can all draw close to him with the veil removed from our faces. And with no veil we all become like mirrors who brightly reflect the glory of the Lord Jesus.  We are being transfigured  into his very image as we move from one brighter level of glory to another.  And this glorious transfiguration comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Cor. 3:16-18 (TPT)


In relationships, when one person is being changed by the glory of God, they will reflect or mirror that glory to others. Single friendships, married couples, thrive best when there is a partnership of discovery.


Revelation begets revealers. 


The Future You


Over forty years of ministry we have counseled hundreds of couples. The challenges in married life are often found in disclosures unplanned and unwanted. We often hear a facsimile of this: I thought I knew him (her) but what he (she) has become is causing major issues. Hence we strongly urge couples planning to marry, to not rush into making vows unto a life-long commitment. If you are in an intentional friendship, with strong marriage possibilities, take the time to evaluate the trajectory of your significant other. Who was this person before I met them and how is their journey unfolding? Remember, you are contemplating a level of trust based on their history.

Anyone can produce a resume from their past. But you need to create your own portfolio drawing from present interaction, which will take months, maybe even years. A good starting point is here: Am I Ready for Marriage?


Of course there is also the flip side. How well do I know myself? Is my significant other getting to know the real me or only a facade?


Who you are at the core of your being is the person your spouse will come to know over decades. Share on X


Relationships Reveal


Sadly, I have watched many Christian couples collapse under the weight of what is called irreconcilable differences. Instead of brighter levels of glory it seems that the revelation of marriage has been the unveiling of darker valleys of weakness and discord. The initial excitement made its exit long ago. But if the disconnect is attended to early on, with authenticity and repentance, it can create the forward thrust towards maturity. Single or married, we need the vision of healthy community in order to perceive ourselves rightly.

Yes, marriage tends to surface the toxic burial ground of my soul. But isn't that the healthiest place for it to be? No longer hidden but in the light? Share on X


Another common phrase I’ve heard from couples over the years: We are unequally yoked. It actually may be the case, but it doesn’t mean that it’s a final state. Truth be told, we must navigate the same scenario in our relationship with Jesus. The solution is never to divorce ourselves from God or deconstruct our faith because it isn’t working anymore. The revelation of marriage, the bride of Christ to her Bridegroom, is a directional force unto the cleansing of every impediment to holiness.


We all have spiritual experiences that find the highlight reel in our journals. Breakthroughs, new insights; they are wonderful. But the day to day living can be encapsulated in this facet of Christ’s mission to His bride: to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Eph. 5:26-27 


The revelation of marriage includes taking ownership of where I need cleansing. This is the pathway to radiance.


No Remorse


They call it “buyer’s remorse.” A major purchase, such as a house, which a person later regrets. As I am soon to celebrate forty-eight years of taking up my cross to follow Jesus, I can absolutely say that I have no remorse. Sure, there are ebbs and flows to every life, and our faith will be tested, but I am always drawn back to the contentment that comes from discovering those brighter levels of glory.


I wonder if the Apostle John had some questions for Jesus when he found himself exiled to a prison island? Was he anticipating a different ending to his life? The revealing of Jesus on Patmos surely jogged his memory of another glorious experience on a mountain, described by Peter. We saw his magnificence and splendor unveiled before our very eyes. 2 Pet. 1:16 This time around, when John saw the glory of Christ, he fainted. Rev. 1:17. After Jesus revived him, he was commanded to pay attention: Write down what you have seen; both the things that are now happening and the things that will happen.This is the meaning of the mystery… Rev. 1:19-20


God’s unveiling of Himself will always produce an unveiling of my own heart. At times it will feel like God is giving me a progress report of my personal life or my marriage. This is how I’ve seen you grow and it brings joy to My heart. Other times I feel undone and wonder, I’m not sure I know who I am right now. Lord, am I hearing you correctly?


Revelation takes time. God is setting the stage for a greater unveiling of Himself. Rest assured, there are brighter levels ahead.